Capture the Magic

Reed and I went to see the BYU Ballroom dancers perform on Saturday night. The show was absolutely incredible! The crowd loved it and gave a standing ovation at the end. Every time I see them dance I am completely amazed at the talent they have. What a show! Some of the routines I have see a million times, but can never get sick of. They performed their competition medlies from the British Formation Championships that were just breathtaking. Even Reed said it was the best show we've been to. I found myself dancing in my chair and cheering out loud. I love it!

I have to admit that every time I see them dance I come away with mixed emotions. I have bitter-sweet memories of dancing at BYU. I never really danced at all until I went to college. I took a ballroom class my first semester and completely fell in love. It's hard to describe, because I can't think of anything else that makes me feel this way. I felt like I could dance all day, every day for the rest of my life and never get tired of it. Too bad I actually had to study for my classes. And, too bad I wasn't very good. At least not at first. Like most things in my life, I had to work really hard to be any good. Dancing didn't come very naturally to me, and I had to practice a lot. I eventually danced with the Ballroom company and competed a little bit. I really wanted to dance on the Touring team, but that never happened. That's where the regrets come in. I have to give myself credit for making as far as I did, considering I had never taken a dance class before. Most of the people I was competing against had been dancing since they were kids. But, that just feels like an excuse. If I really wanted to tour, I needed to have a serious competition parter, and I was never aggressive enough to go out and get one. Once I got married things got more complicated and priorities changed. I was disappointed not to dance on the touring team my last year of school, but not devestated. However, when I graduated from college and stopped dancing I felt like I was giving a part of myself away. It's something I can never go back to. Another thing that was hard about the ballroom program was that it was hard to make good friends. I never quite fit in with the "dance major" crowd, and really all of the girls I was friends with were the people I was competing against for a better spot on the team. Ug.

When I see them dance I just miss it so much. Then I regret not trying harder. I could have danced more and studied less. I certainly would have enjoyed it more! Then I think about how glad I am to not have the insecurity of constantly being judged anymore. Then I rember the thrill of being on stage in front of a huge crowd and doing something I absolutely love. Mixed emotions. . .